From: Juhana Enqvist Newsgroups: alt.humor.best-of-usenet Subject: [alt.video.dvd] Re: NO STAR WARS SE ON DVD!!! Date: 25 Nov 1997 15:47:18 +0100 Subject: Re: NO STAR WARS SE ON DVD!!! From: mikah@no.spam.for.me (Mikah) Newsgroups: alt.video.dvd No, but for real. I used to work at ILM and my buddies there tell me that George has talked to them and told them they ARE planning on releasing the Star Wars:SE on DVD at some point in the future. Supposedly he is waiting for the Multisession format of DVD to be finalized so that he can put the PC version of all the Star Wars games on as well, and still have the CDs work in a movie-based DVD-ROM player much as Enhanced CDs work today. That way, when you get tired of just watching the DVD-ROM, you can slam your bud light on the keyboard and instead of watching the movie, you'll be in it. They were all set to release this in Feb of '98, but then they recalled it so they could remaster the game portion in DD 5.1. Additional information came out later. Somone asked George during a presentation what happened to his eye (it was black/blue/brusised) and he said "nothing." Someone's brother, who works at Fox told them that what happened was that when the head of Fox heard about all these, he called George and told him he was a bluddering idiot (to his face). George then went wookie on his buttocks and clocked the man, but not before the guy threw out a sissy right and hit George in the eye. It got worse from there. George then went to the board of Fox and told them that if they didn't fire this pitiful excuse for an Ewok, he was going to take his movies over to Amblin and let them make them movie. Apparently Spielberg has been trying to get him to buy into DTS anyway. They've been playing around with calling it TdHtXs. The new logo would be a picture of a vacuum cleaner extension attachment with dollars being sucked into it. But, I digress... After much back and forth, it was finally determined that this guy would step down quietly and let George go on with his work. Good thing too because Young Ben (Obi Wan) Kenobi was becoming strong with the Force and corrupted by Anakin Skywalker while waiting on production to continue. He barely wanted to take orders from George anymore. But then George reminded everyone he still had his hands up Yoda's butt, and in fact, controlled everything. I'm sorry, I'm digressing again. ANYWAY, the production of the Prequels are back on schedule, and George is in fact going to release a DVD version of Star Wars:SE. He thought about Christmas time and then thought "Who cares? ANYTHING can sell at Christmas time. I want to sell in the dead of winter, just like the rerelease in the theatre's did. No special reason. I just get off on it. And I'm getting older. It's harder to get off. I need to take what I can get." Now, I wasn't there, so I can't vouch for this information, but everyone I know has been a reliable, trusted source for me since before I came out of the womb and they predicted what day it would be fore me (I was getting stuffy in there). You can believe me or not, but I'm signing my name to this and putting my name on the line. What line? Don't ask. The point is that I'm on the line. Oh, and in one other private conversation overheard in a steam room, George doesn't know why everyone thinks he doesn't like DVD. He said he loves the idea of DVD machines. He said he learned a really cool trick with LD machines where he breaks them open, tears out the laser component, and connects the laser just so to a flashlight -- making a light sabre. He's REALLY looking forward to trying it with DVD machines. Oh, one last thing. While I was writing it, George called me. He said he felt a disturbance in the Force, and used the Force on the phone to call me. He asked if I knew he actually HAD the Force, not just that he wrote about it. I told him I didn't know that, but I though one had to experience it to picture it so clearly. Anyway, when I told him what I was writing, he at first asked me to stop. I told him I knew he could use the Force to destroy me, but I didn't think "Good Force" responded to destructive requests. He told me I didn't understand and said something about The Force being neither good nor bad, but being able to be used for either purpose. He did, however, decide to let me live and didn't burst my heart over the phone. It remains to be seen if this message will make it out to the world though. If all goes well, you will see that his last message to me was to tell everyone not to worry. He spends a considerable portion of every day reading this newsgroup and contemplating the significant issues raised here regarding Star Wars. In fact, he said he has been getting constant complaints from his accountants over not keeping up with counting his money (he insists on doing it himself). There are still several trucks of it parked behind his house. Now pay attention. This is the really good part!!! He says he understands there's only about $70,000 machines out there, but so what. He is working out a deal where everyone can get 5.1 dolby digital surround, extras, production notes, cast bios, audio commentary, descriptive video, rsdl, 16:9 enhanced transfer with letterbox and p & s, combined with a coupon for a free 5.1 decoder and a free 16:9 widescreen HDTV when they become available.... and get this... ALL FOR a suggested retail price of $24.95 ($19.95 at Best Buy)!!!!!!! I don't know about everyone else, but my day was made and I guess I don't have to read any more threads about Star Wars:SE on DVD! All who have been loosing sleep over this can not get back to normal. >On 30 Oct 1997 14:07:52 -0500, whbinder@mtu.edu (William H. Binder) wrote: >me (jpeter737@aol.com) wrote: >: My sister's kid goes to school with George Lucas's son. He told my >: brother-in-law that he has no intent to support the format with any of his >: films and that any rumors about SW on DVD are absolutely false!! He seem >: to feel the same as Spielberg about DVD. Stop Spreading false rumors. And >: to all you DVD'ers. - HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA HA >: HA HA HA HA HA HA HA !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! > >That's odd. >My father's second cousin, three times removed on the mother's side's >uncle's dog's mother's vet's barber is also George Lucas' barber and her >told me personally that Star Wars will be available on Betamax and DVD. >But only sold on Saturdays. > >Look who's talking about spreading rumors.