From: Eric Tetangco Newsgroups: alt.humor.best-of-usenet Subject: [rec.arts.sf.movies] Re: Tom Cruise as Ironman? Yuck!!!!! Date: 17 Jun 1998 07:18:01 -0700 Subject: Re: Tom Cruise as Ironman? Yuck!!!!! From: Tim Sparks Newsgroups: rec.arts.sf.movies, rec.arts.movies.current-films Tim Sparks said: > you need someone with that tony stark look. the only actor i can think > of that looks anything like tony stark is...scott thompson from kids in > the hall. dont think he would be a good choice though. Wheeljak answered: > SCOTT THOMPSON??!! > Not meaning to sound disrespectful, but that has to be the absolute > WORST idea I have ever heard, or read. > What's next on your list--David Spade as the Hulk? Bobcat Goldthwait > as the Silver Surfer? Rick Moranis as Wolverine? > Leonardo DiCaprio as Spider-Man? ; ) Tim replied: I didnt say he would be good as Tony Stark, just that he had that Tony Stark Look! I agree that he wouldnt be good for the role. But...David Spade as Bruce Banner and Chris Farley as the Hulk would have been hilarious! Army Guard: Dr Banner..dont go out there! Banner: And you are? Army Guard: Harold Smith of the 3rd national army sir Banner: And you do? Army Guard: I guard against people going out there Banner: And this is important to me becuase Army Guard: You could DIE out there! Banner: I dont think so. Why dont you run along now and play with your little army men and report back to general Gamma Man or whoever you talk to. Buh Bye! Army Guard: Buty Banner: Hey bucko..talk to the hand! I dont have time for your G. I. Justapainintheass behavior...move it! Army Guard: Okay..it's your life Banner: Yea...my life. Buh Bye. What a LOSER! Banner walks out and gets bombarded by gamma rays..turns into the hulk Hulk comes back, wants in the barracks, does a few pratfalls on the way back, is drenched in sweat Army Guard: uh...um..you can't come in there Hulk: What? Why not...I just came back from a gamma hut down by the river! Army Guard: You might be dangerous? Hulk grabs Army Guys jacket from him, starts dancing around in it Hulk: Fat Hulk in a widdle coat...fat hulk in a widdle coat! Army Guard: You have to leave! Hulk: Look, maybe I'm not "human." Maybe I dont have "flash colored skin" Maybe I look "Like a mutant from hell." Maybe I'm "a total god d*mned mutant creature"...it doesnt mean that just becuase I "gnaw on human flesh" that I can't go in and get some food! Let me in! Army Guard screams and runs. Hulk starts after him but trips and falls through a wall. etc etc. Directed by Tim burton. I give it ***! :)