Newsgroups: alt.humor.best-of-usenet
Date: 11 Apr 1996 15:48:55 GMT

From: svena@sn.no
Newsgroups: misc.writing
Subject: No more rejections. Simple forms ends rejections once and for all


                                            December 10, 1995
Mr./Ms. Editor
Noname Publishing Company
12345 Sixth Street, Suite 7
New York, NY 10001

Dear Editor,
Thank for your letter of December 1. After careful consideration, I
regret to inform you that I am unable to accept your refusal to
offer me a contract for my book, _THE GREAT AMERICAN NOVEL_.
This year I have been particularly fortunate in receiving an unusually
large number of rejection letters. With such a varied and promising
field of candidates it is impossible for me to accept all refusals.
Despite Noname's outstanding qualifications and previous experience
in rejecting manuscripts, I find that your rejection does not meet my
needs at this time. Therefore, I will expect your contract by return
mail.  We will negotiate the details at that time.  I look forward to
working with your company.
Best of luck in rejecting future manuscripts.