From: hotelca@cris.com (Hotel California) Subject: Re: CHECK THIS OUT!!!! EASIEST MONEY EVER!!!! Date: Wed, 10 Apr 1996 15:50:24 -0500 Ettenshun ell stoopeed ideeut spemmeeng crusspusters, zee regoolers here-a et elt.sveedeesh.cheff.bork.bork.bork ere-a seeck und tured ooff yuoor crusspusts. Ve-a ere-a veell nut tullerete-a uny mure-a. Yuoo hefe-a beee verned. Bork Bork Bork! Zee Refee by Idger Ellee Pue-a Oonce-a upun a meednight dreery, vheele-a I pundered, veek und veery Oofer muny a qooeeent und cooreeuoos fuloome-a ooff furguttee lure-a -- Vheele-a I nudded, neerly neppeeng, sooddenly zeere-a ceme-a a teppeeng, Es ooff sumeune-a gently reppeeng, reppeeng et my chember duur. Bork Bork Bork! " 'Tees sume-a feesitur, " I moottered, "teppeeng et my chember duur-- Oonly thees und nutheeng mure-a." Eh, deestinctly I remember it ves in zee bleek December; Und iech seperete-a dyeeng imber vruooght its ghust upun zee fluur. Bork Bork Bork! Iegerly I veeshed zee murroo -- feeenly I hed suooght tu burroo Frum my buuks soorceese-a ooff surroo -- surroo fur zee lust Lenure-a-- Fur zee rere-a und redeeunt meeedee vhum zee ungels neme-a Lenure-a-- Nemeless here-a fur ifermure-a. Bork Bork Bork! Und zee seelkee, sed, uncerteeen roostleeng ooff iech poorple-a coorteeen Threelled me-a -- feelled me-a veet funtesteec terrurs nefer felt beffure-a: Su thet noo, tu steell zee beeteeng ooff my heert, I stuud repeeteeng. Bork Bork Bork! " 'Tees sume-a feesitur intreeteeng intrunce-a et my chember duur-- Sume-a lete-a feesitur intreeteeng intrunce-a et my chember duur-- Thet it is und nutheeng mure-a." Presently my suool groo strunger: heseeteting zeen nu lunger, "Sur, " seeed I, "oor Medem, trooly yuoor furgeefeness I implure-a: Boot zee fect is I ves neppeeng, und su gently yuoo ceme-a reppeeng, Und su feeently yuoo ceme-a teppeeng, teppeeng et my chember duur, Thet I scerce-a ves soore-a I heerd yuoo"-- here-a I oopened veede-a zee duur-- Derkness zeere-a und nutheeng mure-a. Bork Bork Bork! Deep intu zee derkness peereeng, lung I stuud zeere-a vundereeng feereeng. Bork Bork Bork! Duoobteeng, dreemeeng dreems nu murtel ifer dered tu dreem beffure-a: Boot zee seelence-a ves unbrukee, und zee steellness gefe-a nu tukee, Und zee oonly vurd zeere-a spukee ves zee vheespered vurd, "Lenure-a?" Thees I vheespered, und un ichu moormoored beck zee vurd "Lenure-a!"-- Merely thees und nutheeng mure-a. Bork Bork Bork! Beck intu zee chember toorneeng, ell my suool veethin me-a boorneeng, Suun egeeen I heerd a teppeeng sumoohet lueder thun beffure-a. Bork Bork Bork! "Soorely," seeed I, "soorely thet is sumetheeng et my veendoo letteece-a; Let me-a see-a, zeen, vhet zeereet is, und thees mystery ixplure-a-- Let my heert be-a steell a mument und thees mystery ixplure-a-- 'Tees zee veend un nutheeng mure-a!" Oopee here-a i floong zee shootter, vhee, veet muny a flurt und flootter, In zeere-a stepped a stetely Refee ooff zee seeently deys ooff yure-a; Nut zee leest oobeeesunce-a mede-a he-a; nut a meenoote-a stupped oor steyed he-a; Boot, veet meeee ooff lurd oor ledy, perched ebufe-a my chember duur-- Perched upun a boost ooff Pelles joost ebufe-a my chember duur-- Perched, und set, und nutheeng mure-a. Bork Bork Bork! Zeen thees ibuny burd begooeeling my sed funcy intu smeeling, By zee grefe-a und stern decuroom ooff zee cuoontenunce-a it vure-a, "Thuoogh thy crest be-a shurn und shefee, thuoo," I seeed, "ert soore-a nu crefee, Ghestly greem und unceeent Refee vundereeng frum zee Neeghtly shure-a-- Tell me-a vhet thy lurdly neme-a is oon zee Neeght's Plootuneeun shure-a!" Qoout zee Refee, "Nefermure-a." Mooch I merfeled thees ungeeenly fool tu heer deescuoorse-a su pleeenly, Thuoogh its unsver leettle-a meuneeng -- leettle-a relefuncy bure-a; Fur ve-a cunnut help egreeeeng thet nu leefing hoomun beeeng Ifer yet ves blessed veet seeeeng burd ebufe-a hees chember duur-- Burd oor beest upun zee scoolptoored boost ebufe-a hees chember duur, Veet sooch neme-a es "Nefermure-a." Boot zee Refee seetting lunely oon zee pleceed boost, spuke-a oonly Thet oone-a vurd, es iff hees suool in thet oone-a vurd he-a deed ooootpuoor. Bork Bork Bork! Nutheeng foorzeer zeen he-a uttered, nut a feezeer zeen he-a floottered-- Teell I scercely mure-a zeen moottered, "Oozeer freeends hefe-a floon beffure-a -- Oon zee murroo he-a veell leefe-a me-a, es my Hupes hefe-a floon beffure-a." Zeen zee burd seeed, "Nefermure-a." Stertled et zee steellness brukee by reply su eptly spukee, "Duoobtless," seeed I, "vhet it utters is it oonly stuck und sture-a Cooght frum sume-a unheppy mester vhum unmerceeffool Deesester Fullooed fest und fullooed fester teell hees sungs oone-a boordee bure-a -- Teell zee durges ooff hees Hupe-a zee melunchuly boordee bure-a Ooff 'Nefer - nefermure-a.'" Boot zee Refee steell begooeeling ell my funcy intu smeeling, Streeeght I vheeled a coosheeuned seet in frunt ooff burd und boost und duur, Zeen upun zee felfet seenking, I betuuk myselff tu leenking Funcy untu funcy, theenking vhet thees oomeenuoos burd ooff yure-a-- Vhet thees greem, ungeeenly, ghestly, goont, und oomeenuoos burd ooff yure-a Meunt in cruekeeng, "Nefermure-a." Thees I set ingeged in gooesseeng, boot nu sylleble-a ixpresseeng Tu zee fool, vhuse-a feeery iyes noo boorned intu my busum's cure-a; Thees und mure-a I set deefining, veet my heed et iese-a recleening Oon zee coosheeun's felfet leening thet zee lemp-leeght glueted oo'er Boot vhuse-a felfet-feeulet leening veet lemp-leeght glueteeng oo'er She-a shell press, eh, nefermure-a! Zeen methuooght, zee eur groo denser, perffoomed frum un unseee censer Svoong by serepheem vhuse-a fuut-fells teenkled oon zee tooffted fluur. Bork Bork Bork! "Vretch," I creeed, "thy Gud hes lent zeee-a -- by zeese-a ungels he-a het sent zeee-a Respeete-a -- respeete-a zee nephente-a frum thy memureees ooff Lenure-a! Qooeffff, ooh, qooeffff thees keend nephente-a und furget thees lust Lenure-a!" Qoout zee Refee, "Nefermure-a." "Pruphet!" seeed I, "theeng ooff ifeel! -- pruphet steell, iff burd ooff defeel! Vhezeer Tempter sent, oor vhetefer tempest tussed zeee-a eshure-a, Desulete-a yet ell undoonted, oon thees desert lund inchunted -- Oon thees hume-a by Hurrur hoonted -- tell me-a trooly, I implure-a -- Is zeere-a -- is zeere-a belm in Geeleed? -- tell me-a -- tell me-a, I implure-a!" Qoout zee Refee, "Nefermure-a." "Pruphet!" seeed I, "theeng ooff ifeel! -- pruphet steell, iff burd ooff defeel! By thet Heefee thet bends ebufe-a us -- by thet Gud ve-a but edure-a-- Tell hees suool veet surroo ledee iff, veethin zee deestunt Eeedenn, It shell clesp a seeented meeedee vhum zee ungels neme-a Lenure-a -- Clesp a rere-a und redeeunt meeedee vhum zee ungels neme-a Lenure-a." Qoout zee Refee, "Nefermure-a." "Be-a thet vurd oooor seegn ooff perteeng, burd oor feeend!" I shreeeked, upsterteeng -- "Get zeee-a beck intu zee tempest und zee Neeght's Plootuneeun shure-a! Leefe-a nu bleck ploome-a es a tukee ooff thet leee-a thy suool het spukee! Leefe-a my luneleeness unbrukee! -- qooeet zee boost ebufe-a my duur! Teke-a thy beek frum oooot my heert, und teke-a thy furm frum ooffff my duur! Qoout zee Refee, "Nefermure-a." Und zee Refee, nefer fleetting, steell is seetting, steell is seetting Oon zee pelleed boost ooff Pelles joost ebufe-a my chember duur; Und hees iyes hefe-a ell zee seemeeng ooff a demun thet is dreemeeng, Und zee lemp-leeght oo'er heem streemeeng throos hees shedoo oon zee fluur, Und my suool frum oooot thet shedoo thet leees flueteeng oon zee fluur Shell be-a leeffted -- nefermure-a!