From: "E." Newsgroups: alt.humor.best-of-usenet Subject: [comp.os.linux.advocacy] Boris/antiboris reaction? Date: 9 Oct 1998 22:03:26 -0000 Subject: Boris/antiboris reaction? From: mawarkus@t-online.de (Matthias Warkus) Newsgroups: comp.os.linux.advocacy, linux.redhat.misc B H schrieb: > > >-> Wake up children! The richest and most powerful man and company on the > >-> planet are determined to crush YOU while your still asleep. > > > >Get a grip. BG can't crush Linux. There's nobody to fuck over! This is > >*not* OS/2, it's not Mac OS, and it's not Java. > > What if Bill Gates GAVEAWAY Xenix???? Sound familiar???????????? > > Linux would be DDDEEEAAAADDDDDDD!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! [moronic scribble schnibble] Warkus' Usenet Quirk Theory tries to explain Usenet by describing posters, postings and various other phenomena as entities that encapsulate one or more quirks. Every quirk has got its distinctive antiquirk. Known pairs discovered at COLA (Computational Oratorics LAb) are bottom <-> top evil <-> good dumb <-> clue con <-> pro win <-> lin troll <-> post fan <-> cool right <-> wrong pure <-> prag [*] Thus we deduce in quirk notation: Boris -< (bottom evil dumb con win troll) B H -< (bottom evil dumb con lin troll) By definition, a poster that contains exactly the same set of quirks as another poster with one quirk replaced by its respective antiquirk, is to be referred to as the original poster's adjacent antiposter (as opposed to diametral antiposters and higher-degree antiposters). B H is thus an antiboris. Making a boris and an antiboris collide should lead to unique thread patterns (what laymen would call "reaction paths") and yield an astonishing volume of bogons, morons and idions. Since the relative charge of an entity in a poster-antiposter adjacency (simple 1st degree antiposter discussion) is defined as the sum of the poster's quirk weights minus the sum of the antiposter's quirk weights (difficult to denote in ASCII), times the Warkus Constant (2.9386910*10e-3 +/- 1.1*10e-9 keF/mY), this charge should be cr = ((wp[1] + wp[2] + ... + wp[3] + wq) - (wp[1] + wp[2] + ... + wp[3] - wq) * w = (wq + wq) * w = 2wq * w where wq is the weight of a win or a lin quirk in milliyoshida and w is the Warkus constant. The estimated weight of such a quirk is about 1766 mY, thus cr = 2 * 1766 mY * 2.94 keF/mY = 3532 * 2.94 keF = 10.4 MeF. More that ten mega-electroflames are already an incredible relative charge. Empirically, I know Boris troll factor to be around 0.086 postings per MeF, and I estimate B H's at a low 0.041, so the absolute charge should be ca = 10.384 MeF * (0.086 Po/MeF + 0.041 Po) = 131 kPo 131 kilopostings at a nominal 800 characters each should add up to an enormous amount of flamage. My, I'd like to see that discussion - probably it would emanate into the higher layers of e-mail. I spare you the exact calculations for the thread geometry at this point since that would involve calculating the quirk vectors for all the quirks of both poster and antiposter, plotting the sum of those vectors to deduce a single pair of coordinates in opinion space, estimating a potential plane and then drawing the curves of least / most resistance only to get the inner and outer limits of the possible thread paths. The problem with this kind of reaction is that it's really hard to get the entities to collide. I, personally, am still hoping for the Supercrossposting Supercollider. mawa[***] [*] NB: these are only a couple of quirks. Hundreds of others are known. Depending on the angle of discussion (collision in layman's terms), they are more or less important. Mathematically, all the quirks not addressed by the harmonic average topic can be considered unimportant to the discussion yield. [**] bogon -< (dumb wrong) moron -< (fan dumb) idion -< (evil dumb) [***] LaTeX-formatted articles "Usenet Quirk Dynamics" and "Higher Usenet Quirk Dynamics" soon available on e-mail request.