From: Katie E Sehorn Newsgroups: rec.games.roguelike.adom Subject: Fiera's Kearns tribute Date: 27 Jan 1999 12:55:36 GMT Oh, yes. Be afraid. Be VERY afraid. In fact, be SO afraid that you will thank me for putting in spoiler space even though this doesn't qualify as a spoiler. * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * For a brief period of time many months ago, BK was quoting all sorts of Barenaked Ladies lyrics in his .signature file. In honour of that time, I now present a filk of BNL's "One Week". It's actually a collaborative effort between BK and myself. "One Week" Chorus I: It's been one week since I brushed my teeth Cocked my head to the side and felt my neck creak Five days since I was caffeine-free Said 'I'll get back to normal after the V.P.' Three days since I left my room I realize I'll go insane, but gotta play through Yesterday, couldn't fall asleep 'Cause I just got the quest to go slaughter Barney Verse I: Holy cow, come have a look-see 'Cause the Chaos got free, it's wreaking havoc throughout the land In dungeons deep, vermin creep and balors waken from their sleep to guard a gate that's locked away inside the Metaplane The gods say I'm gonna be the one guy who'll make it all right Said "We'll make a hero outta you" Dark elves will call their friends in The giant webs spin, they try to hold me but I bust through You can make a drake to shut the gate or you can leave it up to fate (or if you wanna you can try an orcish merchant) Now Terinyo's the place to go and T.F.M. will let you know that if you like it, send a card to Gelsenkirchen Bridge: How can I help it if I'm losin' and I feel mad? Tryin' hard not to die though my luck's bad In my dreams I see a little @ attack and kill Can't understand what I mean? You soon will I have a tendency to play the game instead of sleep I have a history of nodding off at work Chorus II: It's been one week since I brushed my teeth "s" key's starting to stick; I'm gettin' angry Five days since I cooked a meal I've got pizza boxes up to my knees Three days since the afternoon My boss said I'm fired if I didn't knock it off soon Yesterday, couldn't fall asleep Had to find slaying ammo so I could kill Barney Verse II: Eating a fried bat that tastes like chicken Find a small hole, hear the feet start clickin' Lookin' for the Phial to turn the lights on Make gremlins get gone, I hope this doesn't take me too long My unholy aura makes 'em panic, With Sting I'm manic, stickin' greater demons in the eye In Kherab's lair I like to pool-scum, 'Kay, I don't pool-scum, but if I did I'd have an RoI To kill some icy vortices I conjured fire near some trees and now they're angry so I have to go the back way I'm feeling doomed in Dwarven rooms and in the gloom I hear a *THUMB* and I'm thinkin' I maybe went the wrong way Bridge, second iteration: How can I help it if I'm losin' and I feel mad? Tryin' hard not to die though my luck's bad In my dreams I see a little @ attack and kill Can't understand what I mean? You soon will I have a tendency to play the game instead of sleep I have a history of napping at work Chorus III: It's been one week since I brushed my teeth (Gums are bleeding a lot; I'm kinda worried) Five days since my screen turned blue (Thank God I made a back-up game before the bunny room) Three days since I left my room I realize I've gone insane, but what can I do? Yesterday, finally fell asleep And it'll still be two days till I take out Barney... It'll still be two days till I take out Barney... It'll still be two days till I take out Barney... D:4 arena, make lots of money.... "Respectfully" submitted, Fiera the Trollish Weaponsmith