From: Hans Petter Faale Newsgroups: alt.humor.best-of-usenet Subject: [alt.home.repair] New Joke (was Re: Home Repair Blonde Joke) Date: 13 Jul 1998 09:45:03 GMT [Submitters note: A joke was posted (two blondes...etc.). A female reader got upset and replied: ``"Converting it into a "blonde" joke does nothing to improve the staleness; rather, it broadcasts your adolescent, patriarchical, chauvinistic misogyny.'' The following was posted in response.] OK, time to RE-lighten things up a little: Two people were working on a house. The race, nationality, religion, size, gender, level of intelligence, sexual orientation, hair color, eye color, age, income level, personal hygiene habits, native language, and place of residence of the two people are unknown and unimportant to the telling of this joke. All that matters is that the two people are 1) capable of driving nails, and 2) able to communicate with each other. The person -er- perdaughter -er- one who was applying the siding (made of 100% post-consumer recycled plastic) would reach into his or her nail pouch, pull out a nail, and either nail it into the siding or walk over and deposit it into the metals recycling container. The other person, figuring this was worth looking into, stated "Pardon me, I hope I'm not being too nosy--and if I am, please tell me--but why are you discarding those nails?" The first one explained, "If I pull a nail out and it's pointed towards me, I do not use it because it's directionally challenged and therefore, unfortunately, unsuitable to be nailed into the house (although, in every other way it is perfectly equal to the other nails, and I do not disparage it one bit because it is challenged in this way--which is why I place it in the recycling bin so that it can find fulfillment and acceptance despite being directionally challenged.) If it is pointed toward the HOUSE, then I nail it in. The second one began to get upset, but, remembering that anger, especially over such a trivial topic, is never good and only escalates into the type of hatred and violence that tears a society apart, regained her or his composure and said, "Again, I mean no offense, and I would certainly never call into question you intelligence (for indeed, you are equally as bright as everyone that I know), but I think I should inform you that the directionally challenged nails can be used on the OTHER side of the house." [Note: That was the punch line; you should laugh at it.] -chuck o. Disclaimer: I'm sorry if this joke offends anyone. I tried to think of other subjects for this joke and monkeys and apes were the only ones that had the requisite opposable thumbs for handling hammers and nails. However, we all know that the primates are the noblest of creatures and to belittle them in such a way would be unthinkable. Besides, a dialog consisting of a bunch of "ooh ooh ah ahs" wouldn't be funny at all.