Newsgroups: alt.humor.best-of-usenet
Date: 21 Mar 1995 18:33:59 GMT

From: mloy@indyvax.iupui.edu (Mark Loy)
Newsgroup: rec.arts.sf.written.robert-jordan
Subject: Re: A little less of the male-female thing...

In article <3k4k6r$9rr@forged.passport.ca>, marius@passport.ca (Ian McKay)
wrote:

> khan757@aol.com (Khan757) wrote:
> 
> 
> >
> >It is true that a little tension is good for moving the 
> >story along but I  feel that RJ takes the point a 
> >little too far.  How could there be so many  people 
> >together that are absolutley clueless about the 
> >opposite sex? Any  thoughts?
> 
>   If you are not clueless, and know no one who is, you are in 
> the vast minority.   It has been my experience that many people 
> have a very slight understanding of the opposite sex...and 
> those who do are usually female.  I do my best but there are 
> many times when I am wide of the mark....and it is not because 
> of lack of experience.  I have lived with women and girlfriends 
> for many years and, while it has provided me with some insight, 
> I am still a great distance from any true understanding.
> 
>   If you "Understand" the opposite sex you should probably 
> write a book about it. A surefire bestseller. :)

I actually understand men and women very well.  It's all a matter of "wants
and needs."

(Philosophy mode on)

Women don't *need* men, except when they *want* to need them.

Men *need* women, even when they *don't* want to need them.

Also,

Men *want* women to *need* them, even when they don't.

Women *need* men to *want* them, even when they don't.

And,

Women *want* to be *needed*

Men *need* to be *wanted*

And finally, and most importantly...

Men *want* women, except when there is a major sporting event on TV.

Women *want* men, especially when there is a major sporting event on TV.

(Philosophy mode off)

Now, no matter which sex you are, all you have to do is simply follow this
"want and need" formula...

"I want to need and need to want and I want to need what my partner needs
to want, but I won't be kneeded into wanting what the other person
wantingly, and needlessly wants.  If they keep this shit up, I'm going out
for a fucking beer with my friends and my mate can just eat shit and die,
for all I care.  I slave and work around here and they can't even lift a
little finger to do something that I really want to do...well, I tell you
what, this is a *big* need that I have and if they don't give me a little
consideration, I'm going to find someone else who will.  Fucking asshole. 
Die you bastard, die." 

...You'll do fine with the opposite sex.

Or maybe not.