Newsgroups: alt.humor.best-of-usenet
From: Dean Lenort <dean.lenort@att.net>
Subject: [alt.religion.kibology] Dear Life In These United States ...
Date: 11 Jun 2000 02:29:45 GMT

Subject: Dear Life In These United States ... 
From: jmbay@Stanford.EDU (Joseph Michael Bay)
Newsgroups: alt.religion.kibology

        A man moved to town and hunts around for an apartment to
        rent, but he was turned down by most landlords because of his
        large dog, a mighty hunting dog.  He finally secured a
        carriage house in the backyard of a house owned by two
        old women by assuring the ladies that the dog is perfectly
        friendly, which, of course, it was. The landladies, Martha
	and Mary, had a hutch in the backyard in which the LORD made
	his dwelling.  Months passed, and the man, the dog, and the
	two women lived peacefully. The man had trained the dog not to 
	pester the LORD while he toiled in the vineyards, and the dog 
	was quite obedient in his master's eyes. 

        One night, though, the man returned from a long weekend away in
        the Sea of Galilee.  His dog was beside itself with joy to see 
	the master return, but as it was very late, the man was tired,
	so he lay himself down in his bed and fell asleep, leaving the dog
        outside. In the middle of the night the man was awakened by the 
	strange sounds of his dog outside the bedroom window, a kind of 
	muffled whimpering. When he opened the front door he saw the dog 
	standing there with the LORD in its mouth!  Being struck on the
	head by the man the dog dropped the LORD on the ground, and the man
        immediately picked the LORD up and brought him inside, where he
        could better see. The LORD was brown with dirt but apparently
	undamaged, so the man rushed to wash Him off and dry Him. 
	He slipped out the door like a thief into the dark night, returned
	the LORD to the hutch, and brought the dog inside.  Saying to
	himself, you clever man, they will not know, he fell asleep.

        In the morning, as he left the carriage house for work, he
        saw the two women, Mary and Martha, standing around the 
	LORD's hutch, which he passed by on his way out of the backyard. 
	He thought everything was well and the LORD was unhurt, but when 
	he greeted them he noticed that the women were distraught and
	searching for something.  He approached them, saying unto them, 
	what has happened?  What do you seek?  Has something happened
	to the LORD?

	"Well, he died three days ago" said Mary, "and now he's back
	in the hutch!"

	Needless to say, I lost my lease.






(Author's Note: someone on AFU mentioned the original story, 
with rabbits, which can be found at 
http://www.snopes.com/horrors/gruesome/haredry.htm
being used in a sermon on Easter Sunday)
-- 
Joseph M. Bay						 Boy Genius
    Putting the "harm" in the "Molecular Pharmacology" since 1997
(Oo)                     Someone you love is One of Us.        (oO)
/{|\ What Would Cthulhu Do?			               /|}\