From: nospam@sexzilla.net (Lionel Lauer)
Newsgroups: alt.humor.best-of-usenet
Subject: [news.admin.net-abuse.email] Re: NANAE Mouskouri
Date: 13 Aug 1998 18:51:02 -0000

Subject: Re: NANAE Mouskouri
From: chris@eso.mc.xerox.com (Chris Heiny)
Newsgroups: news.admin.net-abuse.email, alt.usenet.kooks

In article <6qn3ib$4fo$1@saltmine.radix.net>, lhb@Radix.Net (Laura
Burchard) writes:
>paccsthwy@mindspring.com wrote:
>>Oops, I just happened to be on and caught the the preceding post 
>>just as it came onto the net.  It was yet another forgery from the 
>>unemployable NANAE moron Laura Burchard, victim of a lifetime
>>of abuse, and probable abuser of small animals as well.
>
>*sob* I'm... so overcome. Fourteen years on Usenet and I've never had a 
>kook follow me home before. My very own kook. I shall hug him and squeeze 
>him and call him George.

Oh no, you wouldn't want to do that.  Once kooks are removed from the
wild and become dependent on handouts, they lose the ability to
survive in nature.  Most people think kooks are cute at first, making
them little nests in a shoebox filled with shredded dictionary pages,
buying them fetching pink rhinestone collars, and teaching them tricks.

But they soon get tired of the foul smelling posts kooks leave around
the house and the frayed mouse cords, not to mention the expense of
frequent monitor replacement (kooks often try to urinate on newsgroups
in vain attempts to mark territory).  By the time you tire of trying
to housebreak your prospective pet, it'll be too late to return it to
the wild.  Not only will he be shunned by other kooks because he
"doesn't smell right", he won't be able to find food or shelter on his
own either.  In these cases, those kooks that aren't savaged to death
by their wild brethern and don't die of starvation usually wind up
sleeping in the garage rafters and tipping over garbage cans in
search of chicken bones and bread crusts.

Trust me.  The kindest thing you can do for this kook is to call
your local animal control officer and see if they can get him to
a shelter or petting zoo.