Newsgroups: rec.humor.funny
From: dipaula@access.digex.net (Donald DiPaula)
Subject: this is my tool, this is my knife
Date: Sat, 12 Jul 97 19:30:03 EDT

My brother got married this weekend, and I was one of his groomsmen (ushers).
He gave us each a small gift, a high-quality small knife (a Gerber Legendary
Blade).  It came with a little warranty/instruction sheet, on which it had the
following instructions:

1) Always keep your tool clean.  If it comes in contact with perspiration,
salt water, or chemicals, rinse it off with fresh water and treat it with
a quality petroleum based lubricant.

2) Keep your knife sharp.  A sharp knife will work more efficiently and
safely."

Yep, this is my tool, this is my knife; one is for cutting, one's for my wife...