From: Bill Livingston Newsgroups: alt.humor.best-of-usenet Subject: [rec.arts.tv.mst3k.misc] Re: [OT? PPP? *shrug*] Home Page Update Date: 22 Jun 2000 06:13:19 GMT Subject: Re: [OT? PPP? *shrug*] Home Page Update From: Jeffrey Johnson Newsgroups: rec.arts.tv.mst3k.misc On like Wed, 21 Jun 2000, Judith Jacobs was all: >Jeffrey Johnson wrote: >> On like Tue, 20 Jun 2000, Judith Jacobs was all: >> >Jeffrey Johnson wrote: >> >> On like Tue, 20 Jun 2000, Judith Jacobs was all: >> >> >Jeffrey Johnson wrote: >> >> >> On like Fri, 16 Jun 2000, Judith Jacobs was all: >> >> >> >Jeffrey Johnson wrote: >> >> >> >> On like Thu, 15 Jun 2000, Judith Jacobs was all: >> >> >> >> >Jeffrey Johnson wrote: >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> 30 Helens agree: >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> "Patroclus was asking for it!" >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> JSJ1TG, 30 Helens agree - Patroclus was asking >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >> for it. >> >> >> >> >> >> >> >Grrrrrr! I'm gonna get Greek on yo' ass! >> >> >> >> >> >> >> Boy, I bet my ass is really gonna be Achean then! >> >> >> >> >> >> >god, what a Herable pun! >> >> >> >> >> >> Well, you know me, Judith. It's not like you've got to >> >> >> >> >> >> Priam out of me. >> >> >> >> >> >Woo! You said it! I have to Hector you till you stop! >> >> >> >> >> I know. It can be annoying when someone of a Lesser Ajax >> >> >> >> >> so obnoxious. >> >> >> >> >Kids today! Just Troy and stop you! Argive you ten to one >> >> >> >> >I can't. >> >> >> >> That's right! Why, not even an army of Menelaus flat! >> >> >> >Ooh, that one was outrageous! You owe us all an Apollogy. >> >> >> You shouldn't be Teucer-tain I'm sorry. >> >> >It's OK - I take it back. I'm just positive that if you and I >> >> >entered the 31st National Iliad Punfest in Troy, NY, they would >> >> >Kronos both champions. >> >> Well, that's only Cassandra (Juan) Perron isn't here to challenge >> >> us. >> >No, but I'm sure his Aias upon us! >> Oh, I bet it is! I've caught him staring several times, he just >> pretends to scratch Astyanax all cool like he's hoping I didn't >> notice. >He shouldn't scratch Astyanax - he's just a baby. The Briseis next week. Fer Chryseis, Judith, you stole my next pun! >> >> >> >> >> >> This message brought to you via the rose-red fingers of >> >> >> >> >> >> JSJ1TG >> >> >> >> >> >--the rosy-fingered Dawn >> >> >> >> >> Brave JSJ1TG, sulking in his tent. >> >> >> >> >--Judith of the glancing helm. >> >> >> >> Owl-Eyed JSJ1TG >> >> >> >--Pallas Judith >> >> >> JSJ1TG of the wily gaze >> >> >--the wine-dark Judith >> >> >Teucer?? >> >> Achaean leader, archer, half-brother of Telamonian Ajax. But don't >> >> worry. I had to look that up. >> >I'm not worried - Lattimore is right here on *my* desk. >> Ah, I'm definitely a Fagles snob. >Enh, sounds like a poofter. "Hello all! I've called this faculty meeting today to introduce Mr. Richard Lattimore to the Homeric Translation Department here at the University of the Outback in lovely bloody Queensland! This here is Robert Fagles - he teaches Iliadic Translation, Robert Fitzgerald - he teaches Odysseic Translation, Robert Rable - He teaches Critical Theory of Translation, Robert Samuel Butler - he teaches Abridged Translation, and Robert Alexander Pope - he teaches Iambic Pentameric Translation, and of course I'm Robert Bernard Knox and I teach How To Be A Know-It-All About Translation. Mr. Lattimore will be taking over the duties of teaching Translation Into Great Big Long Lines. Richard Lattimore, Robert. Richard Lattimore, Robert. Richard Lattimore, Robert. Richard Lattimore, Robert. Richard Lattimore, Robert." "You mean your name's not Robert?" "No, it's Richard." "Well, mind if we call you Robert, just to avoid confusion?" "Right. Now I shall commence with the reading of the Translation Rules! Rule #1: NO POOFTERS! Rule #2: There shall be no mistranslation of any phrase - if there's anybody watching. Rule #3: NO POOFTERS! Rule #4: I don't want to catch anybody not plagiarizing this term. Rule #5: NO POOFTERS! Rule #6: There is NOOOOO Rule #6. Rule #7: NO POOFTERS! This concludes the reading of the rules. Robert, would you lead us in a prayer?" "Our Muse, we beseech thee to sing through us, amen!" "Amen!" o/~ Aaaaaaristophanes was a fat old geez But would only drink the finest Horatius Flaccus was a slave to Bacchus And the revels of his highness Demosthenes nighly bent his knees To the Altar Porcelinus And Cicero, well I'm sure you know He would rather wine than dine us! There's nothing Plato wouldn't say to get another from his host Socrates would oft join Cato in a toast Aeschylus often made a fuss But a half a pint of ouzo then you'd really hear him cuss Livy, I hear, was fond of beer You'd find him in the Colloseum plastered off his rear Herodotus, Herodotus, got so drunk he wore a bodice Pindar drank 'til he ode And Hesiod, failed by breath and blood His nose it fairly glowed But Homer, our blind bard, was the drunkest of the lot Saw squarer than old Euclid but his liver sure did rot! o/~ >> >--the lovely-haired Judith >> The battle-scarred JSJ1TG >--Judith of the flashing eyes JSJ1TG, Breaker of Horses.