From: John Barberio Newsgroups: alt.humor.best-of-usenet Subject: [alt.fan.pratchett] Re: [I] Ignore this test Date: 30 Aug 1999 18:42:36 GMT Subject: Re: [I] Ignore this test From: dog@wibble.org (Richard Bryant) Newsgroups: alt.fan.pratchett In article , arobertson@ukf.net says... > Don't pay any attention to this at all Now, you know damn' well that's asking for trouble on afp. To testpost to the alt.* hierarchy there is alt.test In fact, in order, these are the available test groups shown on my (commercial) server. 3dfx.test ak.test alabama.test - burn your crosses here. alt.alt.test - for testing alternative tests alt.test alt.test.ignore.yes.its.that.easy - silly alt groups, as usual alt.test.only alt.testing.testing at.test biz.test bofh.test borland.public.test cam.test computek.test dc.test de.alt.test de.test demon.test easynet.test ed.test edm.test eunet.test eur.test fi.test fr.test freeserve.test gnu.test hawaii.test ibmnet.test ibmnet.test.deleteme joker.test linux.test linux.test.moderated - wtf? llandrillo.test mail.test microsoft.test misc.test mist.test.moderated msnet.test news.test nj.test nz.test relcom.test scot.test socs.test - do you have a clean pair? south-wales.test - bet it failed trial.test u3b.test uk.test ukonline.test vmsnet.test wales.test worldnet.test z-netz.test I've left out loads of software testing groups and also a load of religious groups with the word "protestant" in there, but you get the point. Posting tests to afp is a silly thing to do. Stop it at once. This was replied rather than emailed because it is actually possible to post an amusing test rather than just an "ignore this" which afp never has, IME. Newbies, take note. For example, a test in the style of Ernest Hemmingway.... It had been one of those days. One of those days when it was impossible to tell whether a post had actualy surfaced in the grim, shifting seas of USENET. He had a news agent. It was a UNIX news agent. It was a good news agent, a manly news agent, a news agent for men. He cast out his lure and sent a test, sitting in the hard wooden chair, feeling the console creak beneath him with the rocking, swaying motions of the great electronic sea. A bite, a test post. He reeled, cautiously at first and then with greater abandon, until his realisation that he was in deeper waters than he he had known filled him with a sense of panic. Drowning in the contempt of the massed clued monsters of the deep, he would not long live to regret posting his tests to alt.fan.pratchett instead of a shallower and less dangerous shoal... And now a test in the style of Charlotte Bronte.... Of course, she was a well-appointed young lady of exquisite breeding and taste, but when deep within the firm, sensual grasp of the newsgroup she became flighty to the point of distraction; flustered, befuddled and as bothered as a flower under the gentle caress of the gardener who's tender ministrations may sometimes pluck a bud as well as repair a stem. "Does it hear me at all?" she thought breathlessly. "Can it be that my voice has become lost in the intensity of our passion, that my words are unheeded the animal grip of our shared communion?" Seizing control of her keyboard she posted a quick test, deliberately concealing the depth of her emotion with the phrase "don't pay attention to this at all". All of this however, was merely a blind for the words that forced themselves against her trembling lips - "Will you marry me?" And finally, a test in the style of Quentin Tarantino. "You lousy fuckin' piece of shit. I'm seein' a whole loada words from every muthfucka on the goddam net but I got no idea if mine are gonna show up or not." "Hey, you pays your money, you takes your choice. At least you usin' UNIX, man. At least gotta chance t'avoid all that microsoft shit an maybe get treated with a little goddam respect, you know?" "Man, how'm I gonna get noticed in all that? How the fuck am I even supposed to know if this piece of crap even works at all?" "Post a test, man. Just make sure you don't post nothin' boring. I mean, do these guys look like bitches?" "What?" "You say 'what' one more time and I will shoot you in the face, i swear to God. *Do* *they* *look* *like* *bitches*?" "No, they don't look like bitches." "Then don't you try to fuck them like bitches. Post somethin' with a little goddam *class*, muthafucka." "Fuck you already, I'm posting." > Don't pay any attention to this at all Yeah, right. Don't post boring tests.