From: evilsofa <evilsofa@accessone.blurg.com>
Newsgroups: alt.humor.best-of-usenet
Subject: [news.admin.net-abuse.email] A Day in the Life of Another Abuse Guy (long) [1]
Date: 27 Feb 1998 11:05:01 -0700

Subject: Re: A Day in the Life of Another Abuse Guy (long) [1] 
From: aburner@erols.com (Afterburner)
Newsgroups: news.admin.net-abuse.email

aburner@erols.com (Afterburner) wrote:

>>	heh.  This sounds even more entertaining than the incident I had
>>last week where I suspended a lady's account for sending death threats to
>>herself.

trebor@sirius.com sez:

>Oh, c'mon, you can't just leave us hanging like that!

	Story goes along these lines (names have been changed to protect
the innocent):

	Catherine is married to Walter.
	Walter meets Janet.
	Walter *meats* Janet.
	(If you know what I mean.)
	(And I think you do.)
	Walter subsequently discovers that Janet is a flaming head case.
	Walter runs (yea verily) back to Catherine, hat in hand, begging
forgiveness.  She agrees to give him a second chance.
	Months pass.  During this time, Janet (who apparently has some
issues regarding rejection) begins stalking Catherine.
	On Feb 9th, Janet sends herself a death threat which is supposedly
from one of Catherine's friends.
	Janet then forwards said death threat to her new fianceé(!) and to
Walter.  Presumably to (A) cast Catherine in a bad light; and (B) garner
sympathy, pity, and attention for herself.

	All the above landed in my lap last Wednesday around 2:30pm.
Catherine called and explained the situation, and sent me a copy of the
death threat (which indeed had been sent by Janet).  Since this is a clear
violation of our "False Pretenses" clause, I suspended the account.

	The next day, Janet's fianceé calls, demanding to know what's going
on.  Conversation went approximately thus:

	Me:  "Her account was suspended because she was sending death
threats--"
	Him (interrupting):  "She was RECEIVING death threats!"
	Me:  "You didn't let me finish.  She was sending death threats to
herself."
	Him:  "What?"

	More conversation follows, during which he vows to "get to the
bottom of this."  I explain that, regardless, a signed letter will be
necessary to reactivate the account.

	Time passes.

	He calls back.  He informs me that he has indeed unearthed the
truth of the matter after consulting with Janet.  I indicate that I'm all
ears.

	Him:  "Someone broke into our house and hacked our computer.  And
while they were on-line they must have sent this email message."
	Me:  "While you were home?"
	Him:  "Uh, yes."
	Me:  "So let me get this straight.  Some person or persons with
nefarious intent broke into your house shortly before 5:00am last Monday
morning.  They stayed online for an hour, logging off shortly before
6:00am.  And just before they logged off, they sent a death threat to your
fianceés email address from her own computer.  Is that correct?"
	Him:  "Uh.  Yeah."
	Me:  "I don't buy it."

	More conversation followed.  Later on he called back:

	Him:  "Uh, is there anything I can do to prevent this in the
future?"
	Me (sardonically):  "Yeah.  Get a burglar alarm."
	Him:  "Oh!  Uh, yeah, well we discovered that it was really our
roommate that did it.  We've been trying to get rid of him for a while."

	Afterburner
	(Rolling eyes)