From: David Gerard Newsgroups: alt.humor.best-of-usenet Subject: [alt.gothic] Re: A critique of dumbass self-styled "cultural crtiques" (sic) Date: 7 Jun 1998 09:09:00 -0700 Subject: Re: A critique of dumbass self-styled "cultural crtiques" (sic) From: jsorens@my-dejanews.com Newsgroups: alt.gothic, alt.music.black-metal, alt.rock-n-roll.metal.death, alt.rock-n-roll.metal shumway666@my-dejanews.com wrote: [excreta deleta] In my study of various human "cultures," especially those flourishing in pseudo-intellectual circles, I have come up with the following hypotheses: 1. I have had rigorous intercourse with all of their mothers. 2. That they feel the need to post trolls on underground areas of the Internet indicates a psychological propensity to suffer resounding refutation, a sort of intellectual masochism. Chemical imbalance? Perhaps. Psychological malady, certainly. My prognosis? They covet the same experience that I provided their mom(s). 3. They have not often studied the area to which they presume expertise. For instance, in critiquing "metallers" as unintelligent, they embarrass themselves by blatantly displaying their ignorance and waving it around like the inch-long so-called "penis" they possess. The author of this particular analysis (they can ask their mother(s)) will be entering a Ph.D. program at an Ivy League institution this fall; in all likelihood, the self-ordained "critic" currently being refuted will be serving me dinner in years to come. (How does it feel?) 4. In the final analysis, to quote the immortal Carcass, "Welcome, to a world of pain, Bitterness your only wealth, The sands of time kicked in your face, Rubbed in your face" Yours truly, The C.L.M.C.A.