From: Dave Hemming <surfbaud@waverider.co.uk.NO.UCE>
Newsgroups: alt.humor.best-of-usenet
Subject: [talk.bizarre] Target Email Without PIssing Off The World
Date: 15 Jul 1997 15:41:02 -0700

Subject: Target Email Without PIssing Off The World 
From: ljd@mail.bcpl.lib.md.us (Laurence Doering)
Newsgroups: talk.bizarre

<70yme@iaol.com> wrote: [sic]
>
>

"Spam One, this is Foxtrot Uniform, over."

*ckkkrrrhkkkk eeeoooooo* *crackle*

"Spam One, this is Foxtrot Uniform, do you read?"

*kkkkshhhhh*

"Spam One, do you read Foxtrot Uniform?"

*ccckkkkrrkkk* "What?  Um, yeah.  I mean, Spam One here, good buddy.
Sure, I got my ears on.  Come back."

[Oh, great.]  "Spam One, understand you're attempting to target
 email 'without pissing off the world', can you confirm?  Over."

"Yeah, that's a big ten-four, good buddy.  What'd ya say your
 handle was again?  What's your twenty?"

"Spam One, this is Foxtrot Uniform.  Be advised that it's
 NOT FUCKING WORKING.  Over and out."

"What?  Foxtrot what?  Hey, come back, good buddy?"

[pause]

"Crusher Six, this is Foxtrot Uniform, over."

"Foxtrot Uniform, Crusher Six, go ahead."

"Crusher Six, triangulation indicates Usenet post five quebec
 one india two charlie dollar sign juliet nine quebec originated
 at or near latitude three four zero eight five two north,
 one one eight zero eight three seven west, over."

"Orbital anvil delivery system alignment in progress, Foxtrot
 Uniform.  Wait one."

"Foxtrot Uniform standing by."

...

"Foxtrot Uniform, Crusher Six.  Ranging round away, flight
 time one-twenty seconds, over."

eeeeeeeeeeeooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO  *KRONGGG*

"Anvil on target, Crusher Six.  Fire for effect."

"Roger, Foxtrot Uniform.  Anvils away!"

eeeeeeeeeeeooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO    *KRONGGG*  
     eeeeeeeeeeooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO           *KRONGGG*
          eeeeeeeeeeeooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO  *KRONGGG*        *KRONNGG*
eeeeeeeeeeeooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO   *KRONGGG*    *KRONGGG*
     eeeeeeeeeeooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO           *KRONGGG*
          eeeeeeeeeeeooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO  *KRONGGG*

"That's good, Crusher Six.  Fire mission complete."

"Securing anvil delivery.  Anything else?"

"Ah, negative, Crusher Six.  Foxtrot Uniform out."