From: john@thebeard.demon.co.uk (John Robinson) Newsgroups: alt.humor.best-of-usenet Subject: [rec.arts.sf.written] Re: Frodo's failure Date: 29 Jan 1999 08:06:32 -0000 Subject: Re: Frodo's failure From: gdohner@yahoo.com Newsgroups: rec.arts.sf.written In article <78i93s$m9c$1@philabs-gw.philabs.research.philips.com>, jam@philabs.research.philips.com wrote: > > In article , > erkyrath@netcom.com (Andrew Plotkin) writes: > |> John VanSickle (vansickl@erols.com) wrote: > |> > > "The only way to destroy the Ring is to cast it into the Cracks of > |> > > Doom." > |> > > > |> > > *bzzzzaaap* > |> > > "How many pieces do ya want that in?" > |> > |> > I've seen 120-volt household current vaporize steel (from an incident in > |> > which someone forgot to shot off the breaker before connecting the power). > |> > > |> > Try the arc welder. > |> > |> The Ring can apparently absorb an unbounded amount of mundane heat. (Ok, > |> we don't *know* it's unbounded, but that's what I'd guess.) > |> > |> And this suddenly makes it clear *why* Sauron wanted the Ring back. > |> > |> It's the heat sink for the CPU of mordor.org. > > Hmmm, actually I think Mordor being one of the oldest institutions, and > Sauron early on like to cast nets of things, I think he got one of the > very first domains, mordor.sauron.net. Later he shortened it to ms.net. > Modern technical jargon is not his forte though. He obtained the ms.com > domain thinking it was for COMbat. > > He's been dispatching buggy software ever since in an evil plot to > undermine man's free will. Note his early use of COMMAND.COM. > > Microsoft, 9 characters to enslave mortal man.... > > Redmond Washington == DOS now the damn ring > > and > > Bill Sauron Gates == Ignoble Ultra Ass, > Genius or ballast?, > Bargain? Sell to us > Stable run is goal > > although I'm kinda at a loss as to what to make of that. > > Murf That explains what happened to me recently. Recently one of my friends, a computer wizard, paid me a visit. As we were talking I mentioned that I had recently installed Windows 95 on my PC. I told him how happy I was with this operating system, and showed him the Windows 95 CD. To my surprise he threw it into my microwave oven and turned the oven on. Instantly I got very upset, because the CD had become precious to me, but he said: 'Do not worry, it is unharmed.' After a few minutes he took the CD out, gave it to me and said: 'Take a close look at it.' To my surprise the CD was quite cold to hold and it seemed to be heavier than before. At first I could not see anything, but on the inner edge of the central hole I saw a inscription, an inscription finer than anything I have ever seen before. The inscription shone piercingly bright, and yet remote, as if out of a great depth: 12413AEB2ED4FA5E6F7D78E78BEDE8209450920F923A40EE10E510CC98D444AA08E1324 'I cannot understand the fiery letters,' I said. 'No, but I can,' he said. 'The letters are Hex, of an ancient mode, but the language is that of Microsoft, which I shall not utter here. But in common English this is what it says:' One OS to rule them all, One OS to find them, One OS to bring them all and in the darkness bind them... Geoff D p.s. I don't remember where I got that from but whoever came up with it gets my thanks.