From: Keith Lynch <kfl@clark.net>
Newsgroups: alt.humor.best-of-usenet
Subject: [sci.math] Discovery: New mathematical axiom
Date: 6 Mar 1998 09:22:01 -0700

Subject: Discovery: New mathematical axiom 
From: jhayward@students.uiuc.edu (jonathan seth hayward)
Newsgroups: sci.math

I have discovered a new axiom which has both profound and disturbing
consequences.  Like the Axiom of Choice, it may be the subject of heated
controversy, and many people may reject it, but it is none the less a
breakthrough which cannot be ignored.

I am tentatively calling this new axiom the Axiom of Spam.  There are at least
two different forms in which the principle may be stated:

Axiom of Spam (Weak Form): Every mathematical system of sufficient complexity
to accomodate e-mail, will eventually be infested by spam.

Axiom of Spam (Strong Form): Every mathematical system of sufficient complexity
to accomodate e-mail, will eventially be infested by spam.  Furthermore, the
spam will grow more obnoxious over time; after, perhaps, a single post from a
Green Card lawyer, the network will become inundated by sex spam.  And the sex
spam is not the end, either; messages will further devolve into containing
subjects such as "IMPORTANT MESSAGE FROM YOUR ISP".  Like the ordinal numbers,
where even an infinite number may be increased by having one added, the spam
will grow worse and worse and worse.

The strong form of the Axiom of Spam is perhaps the more controversial, and
will likely be rejected by more people.  But even the weak form has substantial
implications.

To briefly explore one out of many avenues that may be taken, the structure of
the natural numbers themselves embodies sufficient complexity to account for
computing; this is why the halting problem provides us with one form of the
proof for Godel's Incompleteness Theorem.  But the implications of the Axiom of
Spam are far more shocking and disturbing than even Godel's Incompleteness
Theorem was when it first came out.  Godel's Incompleteness Theorem established
that we cannot recursively decide what is true; that is, in any system of
sufficent sophistication, there will be statements which are true but not
provable.  What we have here is even worse: there are statements which are
theoretically provable, but which cannot actually be explored because every
avenue of mathematical discourse, every textbook, every journal, will be
disrupted and infested by an unstoppable flow of spam.  Even th-

**IMPORTANT MESSAGE FROM YOUR ISP**

Hi, my name is Jennifer, and I hate to interrupt this message, but I just had
to tell you how much I like taking off my clothes.  I feel so absolutely hot and

NO CARRIER