From: John W Krahn Newsgroups: alt.humor.best-of-usenet Subject: [comp.lang.perl.misc] Colorless Green Perl (Was: Is Perl better than HTML?) [LONG] Date: 5 Mar 2000 18:12:34 GMT Subject: Colorless Green Perl (Was: Is Perl better than HTML?) [LONG] From: Jeff Zucker Newsgroups: comp.lang.perl.misc [courtesy cc's to Abigail, Simon Cozens, David Cassell] [Larry Wall might be interested in these too, if someone who personally knows him agrees, please forward] Ok, sigh, it is time for me to publicly reveal a file that I have been quietly creating called "abigailisms.txt". It is filled with examples of basic cognitive errors in questions posed on this newsgroup and common language English sentences equivalent to them. Abigail is a past master of these but other members of the newsgroup have been known to contribute. I now solicit further examples. Basically I am interested in these, not for their smarminess, but for what they show about the cognitive experience of learning an unfamiliar domain. They indicate domain errors that are rarely shown in natural language, even by non-native speakers, but which are extremely common when new learners enter an unfamiliar knowledge domain. They also provide clues for them with ears to hear about how to teach Perl to beginners. Some examples (names of clueless questioners removed to protect the innocent): First a classic from Abigail: ------ Q. Is it possible to make direct Perl-calls from HTML without having to press any buttons ?? A. Is it possible to grow vegetables from a painting, without becoming Wednesday first? [Abigail] ------ Now, the recent informative interchange between a nameless poster, Alan Flavel, and Randal Schwartz: ------ Q. Is Perl better than HTML? A1. I am writing a book. Which is better - ballpoint or felt-tip?". [Alan Flavel] A2. No Alan, you missed the analogy... look at the subject line... "I am writing a book. Which is better, English, or on paper?" [Randal Schwartz] ------ This one is very informative. Alan's answer captures the essential nonsensical nature of the question but Randal's shows the true depth of domain misunderstanding the question implies. Ballpoints and felt-tips are in the same domain, it is reasonable to compare them although the comparison needs to be based on a particular usage (i.e. if one is making carbon copies, the ballpoint is preferable, and one is a dinosaur). English and paper, however can not be directly compared, and further are intertwingled -- one can write a book using both English and paper so the question of using one *or* the other is doubly flawed, as is the original poster's question. Previously there was a similar interchange between John Moreno and David Jacoby: ------ Q. Why are my CGI (Perl) scripts to change frames (which work fine in IE5) not working in Netscape? A1. You provided no code. Imagine that I had a car, and I told you it didn't run, and asked why. [David Jacoby] A2. More along the lines that it didn't fly and you asked why... [John B. Moreno] ------ Some others: ------ Q. What does "/\" mean in this code: "my($a,$b)=split(/\|/,$c);" ? A. What does "nua" mean in this sentence: "Read the manual." ? ------ Q: How do I include modules directly in a script? A: How do I include Texas in San Francisco? [Tom Phoenix] ------ Q. Do I need to test Perl scripts on a web server or can it be done offline? A. Do I need to have a bell on my bicycle, or can I ride it wearing a hat? ----- Q. Why does my Perl script work in Netscape but not in IE? A. Why does the mailman bring mail that I can read and my brother can't? ------ Q. What is the easiest way to delete a user from a database? A. What is the easiest way to eat food? -- it depends on which database and which food you are talking about. A spoon is not much help eating raw carrots and a SQL delete statement is not much help deleting users from a database with no SQL access. ------ So, boys and girls, let the fun begin. I'll compile your responses into a FAIQ (frequently asked illogical questions). And yes, in case you are wondering, I myself have been known to ask such questions and you probably have also in some domain of knowledge (everyone is clueless about something). So the point here isn't one-up-manship, but rather learning about learning.